Week 17: Cleopatra reigns in FB19

Morris leads stunning comeback for title win

LONDON -- Anthony Munoz and Cleopatra RB Morris WAS scored three TDs and rushed for 200 yards on Sunday Night Football to lead a stunning comeback over the Ham N Eggers in the Finks League's Finger Bowl 19.

Cleopatra won 61-42 in Week 17 at Wembley Stadium to pick up the second league title for Dah Commish, the only remaining owner to compete in every year in league history. Dah Commish's only previous title was FB10, a 58-44 win over Simo's Los Angeles Express in 2003.

"Stunning. It's the only word I can think of to describe how I feel right now," Dah Commish said. "Before the Sunday Night Football game, I thought I was dead and buried."

The Eggers led 42-28 entering the NFL's final regular season game. In addition to Morris' MVP performance of 27 Finks points, TE Witten DAL added a TD for Cleopatra on SNF. Dah Commish won $378 for this year's Finks League title.

Eggers owner Miazga finished second in back-to-back seasons and earned $126 as the runner-up. Newt placed third with a 41-37 victory over the defending champion Distillers.

Cleopatra established a franchise record for $16 in transactions over the course of the season. The only remaining players from the opening auction to finish the season were QB Stafford DET and PKs Akers SF and Hanson DET. Stafford fell one point short of a franchise record for individual Finks points in a season, finishing with 185 compared to QB E. Manning NYG's total from 2012 when Dah Commish placed third.

Cleopatra's opening week roster included RBs Helu WAS, Redman PIT, D. Brown IND, Starks GB. Only Brown was on the roster to end the season. Dah Commish picked up starting RBs Morris WAS and Spiller BUF in the second week and managed to hold on despite losing WR scoring leader Harvin MIN to a season-ending injury after Week 9.

During the season, Cleopatra's roster included 10 different RBs and nine different WR/TEs. RB D. Brown IND and WR T. Smith BAL were released during the season only to be picked up again later in the season.

FINGER BOWL 19 BOXSCORE

Cleopatra (61)
QB Stafford DET 14
RB Morris WAS 27
RB Spiller BUF 6
TE Witten DAL 6
WR T. Smith BAL zero
PK Hanson DET 8

Eggers (42)
QB P. Manning DEN 16
RB Forte CHI 11
RB Green-Ellis CIN zero
TE A. Hernandez NE zero
WR Nicks NYG zero
PK Graham HOU 15

THIRD PLACE BOXSCORE

Newt (41)
QB Wilson SEA 14
RB Moreno DEN 6
RB Sproles NO 9
WR Marshall CHI zero
WR Cruz NYG 6
PK Tynes NYG 6

Distillers (37)
QB Luck IND 6
RB Ridley NE 12
RB Turner ATL 6
WR Cal. Johnson DET zero
WR Welker NE 9
PK Gostkowski NE 4

Week 17: Finger Bowl 19 preview

HAM N EGGERS (9-6-1) at ANTHONY MUNOZ AND CLEOPATRA (11-5)
At Wembley Stadium, London

This season: Cleopatra 50, Eggers 43, week 6; Cleopatra 32, Eggers 30, week 10

Playoff records: Dah Commish 4-2, Miazga 2-5-1

The skinny: Both teams are hurting and could lose starters for the Finger Bowl. Eggers RB Forte CHI is questionable and Cleopatra WR Shorts JAX was placed on IR earlier in the week. Both owners are making their second FB appearances. Eggers owner Miazga is seeking his first Finger Bowl title in 15 Finks League seasons. He lost last year's final 66-61 to the Distillers... Dah Commish is making his first Finger Bowl appearance since winning FB10 in 2003. His As You Hike It defeated Simo's Los Angeles Express 58-44. ... The Eggers survived the first Finks semifinal tie in league history to advance... FB19 is a battle between the top two teams in the Lambert Division.

Projected starters: Eggers -- P. Manning, Forte, Green-Ellis, Cobb, Hernandez, Graham; Cleopatra -- Stafford, Morris, Spiller, T. Smith, Witten, Hanson.

The pick: Eggers 42, Cleopatra 32.

Week 16: Review, boxscores

 Cleopatra reigns, advances to Finger Bowl

LONDON -- Cleopatra owner Dah Commish earned 21 combined Finks points from QB Stafford and PK Hanson DET from Saturday Night Football to advance to his first Finger Bowl since winning in 2003. Cleopatra beat Newt 35-25 at Wembley Stadium.

Newt owner Jeff Newton gambled by starting three NYGs, but those players combined for only five points.

CLEOPATRA 35, NEWT 25

Cleopatra (35)
QB Stafford DET 9
RB Morris WAS 9
RB Spiller BUF 5
TE Witten DAL zero
WR Shorts JAX zero
PK Hanson DET 12

Newt (25)
QB E. Manning NYG 3
RB Rice BAL 11
RB Moreno DEN 3
WR Marshall CHI 6
WR Cruz NYG zero
PK Tynes NYG

Eggers catch a break, makes return trip to Finks finale

LOCKPORT, Ill. -- In a Finks League first, owner Mike Miazga's Ham N Eggers topped the defending champion Distillers by a playoff tiebreaker.

The Eggers had to rally from behind to pull off a win, tying the final score at 41, but theEggers won the QB tiebreaker with Peyton Manning's 16 over Andrew Luck's 6. The only other tie in the postseason was the Virtual Poets and owner Paul Klatt won 41-41 [12-6]  over Chris Traczek's Helena Handbasket in Finger Bowl 5.

The Eggers will make back-to-back Finger Bowl appearances after losing in last year's final 66-61 to the Distillers.

EGGERS 41, DISTILLERS 41 [16-6]

Eggers   (41)
QB P. Manning DEN 16
RB Forte CHI 9
RB Green-Ellis CIN zero
WR Cobb GB 6
TE Hernandez NE zero
PK Graham 10

Distillers (41)
QB Luck IND 6
RB Ridley NE 3
RB Turner ATL zero
WR Cal. Johnson DET 9
WR Walker NE 9
PK Gostkowski NE 14

A note from the Barrels

Barrels owner Chris Traczek: "Was perusing the final standings and my disappointment in what I thought would be a good season for the Creighton Barrels was intensified even more when I saw that the Barrels led the league in scoring but were unable to even qualify for the playoffs. Oh, Fantasy Football, you are a fickle mistress...

Thanks for another gre...well, I can't say "great"...how about "memorably frustrating" season, and "Good Luck" to all of the teams fortunate enough to make the playoffs."

Dah Commish responds: "Nineteen years of Finks League and always a mystery. How does my Cleopatra team receive garbage RBs and WRs after the auction, make close to a dozen transactions during the season and then end up with the league's best record? Shockingly, my opening day RBs were Helu, Redman, D. Brown and Starks. Yikes.

Luck (not named Andrew) plays a huge factor. My league-leading defense carried me this year, but how do I attribute my great defense to our Finks point system? It just seemed my opponents each week this season were too stunned by the beauty of Queen Cleopatra at middle linebacker to be able to score any consistent points against me."

Week 16: Semifinal previews

EYE OF NEWT (9-6) vs. ANTHONY MUNOZ AND CLEOPATRA (10-5)
At Wembley Stadium, London

This season: Newt 41, Cleopatra 40, week 1

Playoff records: Newt (Newton) 4-6, Cleopatra (Wilcox) 3-2

The skinny: Newt is the only team in this year's postseason that did not appear in last year's playoffs, but Newt makes its second appearance in three years... Wilcox finished third in last year's playoffs... This is the first time a Wilcox-owned team has won 10 games in back-to-back seasons. Wilcox's only other 10-win team was the 2003 Finger Bowl champion As You Hike It. ... Cleopatra's top scorers, QB Stafford DET and PK Hanson DET, have 162 Finks points each on the season and are on pace to top QB E. Manning NYG (186 pts in 2011) as the franchise's all-time individual scoring leader for a season.

Projected starters: Newt -- E. Manning, Rice, Moreno, Marshall, Cruz, Tynes. Cleopatra -- Stafford, Morris, Spiller, Shorts, Witten, Hanson.

The pick: Newt 35, Cleopatra 30.

HAM N EGGERS (9-6) vs. LOCKPORT DISTILLERS (9-6)
At Lockport High School, Lockport, Ill.

This season:  Eggers 59, Distillers 39, week 8

Playoff records: Eggers (Miazga) 2-5, Distillers (Cassidy) 2-0

The skinny: The defending Finger Bowl champion Distillers clinched a division title with a win in the last week of the regular season and won the head-to-head tiebreaker over Newt... The title gives owner Dan Cassidy back-to-back division titles in his second season... This semifinal is a rematch of last year's Finger Bowl title match, won by the Distillers 66-61. Cassidy is looking for back-to-back Finks titles, following owner Stan Goff's back-to-back titles from 2009-10. ... Longtime Finks owners Newton and Miazga are looking for their first Finger Bowl championship. They have been owners for a combined 26 years, 15 years for Miazga in two different stints.

Projected starters: Eggers -- P. Manning, Forte, Green-Ellis, Hernandez, Cobb, Janikowski. Distillers -- Luck, Turner, Ridley, Welker, Cal. Johnson, Gostkowski.

The pick: Distillers 48, Eggers 45

Search on for Khans owner

By Lyle Bel
Vogue Fantasy Football Writer

ULAN BATOR, Mongolia  -- After losing Sunday and missing the playoffs again since moving his fantasy football team to the Mongolian capital, angry fans have not been able to find owner D.J. Wanberg.

Sources state that Wanberg sought refuge in the United States Embassy, but diplomats pointed him out to local mobs. Actually, a 50-foot poster of a big red arrow was inserted through a space in the embassy fence and pointed right at Wanberg.

When asked at a press conference why the State Department would turn its back on Wanberg, Secretary of State Hillary Clinton said, "He's got a big mouth. He told the rest of the league before the season began to just give him the money then. Our diplomats don't have much to do there except work and Ghengis Khan film festivals, so they went overboard on betting. Part of the embassy is now a Denny's to pay off the debts.  I had to pay off Bill $50. That was unpleasant."
Additional sources state that Wanberg might be in hiding, preparing his team for the final week of the regular season and trying to finish with a winning record.

Reports list numerous Wanberg sightings including the Motel 6 in Pyongang, North Korea; near the frozen Coke machine at the 7-Eleven in Bensenville, Illinois and the Hertz Rent-A-Car desk at the Los Angeles International airport where between research for the season finale, he can get you a great deal on a car with satellite radio.

No video is available showing the hunt for D.J. Wanberg, but this scene from The Blue Brothers will give an indication of how Wanberg is trying to elude the mobs.

Week 15: The playoff picture

Congrats to the Eggers on capturing the second playoff berth out of the Lambert Division. The Eggers will play the at-large team out of the Nitschke Division, which is yet to be decided with four teams chasing playoff berths entering the final week of the regular season.

Cleopatra has already clinched the Lambert Division and awaits the Nitschke Division runner-up.

Newt has already clinched a playoff berth, but does not own the tiebreaker for the division title based on its two losses to defending champion Distillers earlier in the season.

Here's what to look for in Week 15 in the Nitschke Division:

• Newt clinches the division title with a win over the Brawlers. If Newt losses, Newt will clinch the division with a loss by the Distillers.
• The Distillers clinch the division with a win over Poodle and a loss by Newt. 
• The Barrels and Brawlers must both win to become playoff eligible and need a loss by the Distillers. 
• If Distillers lose and Barrels and Brawlers both win, they split during the regular season; so the tiebreaker comes down to points.

Week 14 update

From Barrels owner Chris Traczek: "The Creighton Barrels kept alive their tenuous playoff hopes with a critical 32-26 defeat of the Lockport Distillers in Finks League action this week. The Barrels entered Monday night's game with a 32-14 lead and somehow, with the Patriots scoring 42 points and the Distillers having three New England players in action, held on with Ridley and Gostkowski scoring 6 points apiece while Welker, who even added punt-return duties to his resume for the game, was shockingly blanked. The Barrels were paced by another incredible performance from Adrian Peterson, who had 19 points, 15 of which came in the opening quarter against the Bears. That was enough to offset a rare down performance from AJ Green (0 points) and 1 point from kicker Greg Zuerlein. The win means the Barrels will snag a playoff berth if they are able to knock off Hurricane Quags in Week 15 while the Distillers must also get upset by the Pink Poodle."