Search on for Khans owner

By Lyle Bel
Vogue Fantasy Football Writer

ULAN BATOR, Mongolia  -- After losing Sunday and missing the playoffs again since moving his fantasy football team to the Mongolian capital, angry fans have not been able to find owner D.J. Wanberg.

Sources state that Wanberg sought refuge in the United States Embassy, but diplomats pointed him out to local mobs. Actually, a 50-foot poster of a big red arrow was inserted through a space in the embassy fence and pointed right at Wanberg.

When asked at a press conference why the State Department would turn its back on Wanberg, Secretary of State Hillary Clinton said, "He's got a big mouth. He told the rest of the league before the season began to just give him the money then. Our diplomats don't have much to do there except work and Ghengis Khan film festivals, so they went overboard on betting. Part of the embassy is now a Denny's to pay off the debts.  I had to pay off Bill $50. That was unpleasant."
Additional sources state that Wanberg might be in hiding, preparing his team for the final week of the regular season and trying to finish with a winning record.

Reports list numerous Wanberg sightings including the Motel 6 in Pyongang, North Korea; near the frozen Coke machine at the 7-Eleven in Bensenville, Illinois and the Hertz Rent-A-Car desk at the Los Angeles International airport where between research for the season finale, he can get you a great deal on a car with satellite radio.

No video is available showing the hunt for D.J. Wanberg, but this scene from The Blue Brothers will give an indication of how Wanberg is trying to elude the mobs.