Week 14: Distillers first to clinch division

With a 40-18 victory over division rival Just a Fantasy, the Lockport Distillers became the first Finks League team this season to clinch a division title.

The Distillers (9-5) won the Lewis Division with the victory and will face the runner-up from the Urlacher Division in the Week 16 semifinals. That division title will be decided in a Week 15 matchup between co-leaders and father and son Dick Quagliano of Hurricane Quags (11-3) and Anthony Quagliano of the Boom Town Blue Jays (11-3). In the event of a tie, Quags owns the head-to-head tiebreaker with a 73-58 win over the Jays in Week 6.

Quags has won a new Finks League-record 11 consecutive games, topping the Eggers' record set last season. The Jays' seven-game win streak ended with a 53-45 defeat in Week 14 to the Independents, ending Anthony's bid to become the first Finks team to win 13 games in a season. Now, either Dick or Anthony Quagliano have a chance to join a list of nine teams that have won 12 games in a season.

The Distillers won their fourth Finks division title since joining the league in 2011. The Distillers clinched a division title and won the Finger Bowl in their first season in 2011, and have other division titles in 2016 and 2013.

Saturday action: Just a reminder to all Finks owners, there are two Saturday games featuring HOU@NYJ and CLE@DEN, so remember to get your starters from those teams into your opponent before kickoff.

Deadlines, deadlines: Free agency ends at 10 p.m. (CST) Wednesday, Dec. 12 and the trading deadline is at noon (CST) Dec. 16. Rosters are frozen during the postseason.

Week 13: Record setters for Quags, Serkus

In Finks League, setting records in opposite directions seems to happen all the time. In Week 13, it was  in the positive for Quags and in the negative for defending champion Serkus.

Quags' 85-35 victory over Serkus in Week 13 tied the Hurricanes for consecutive wins in Finks League history, equaling Eggers owner Mike Miazga's one-year old record. Before Miazga broke the record last season, Dah Commish recalls that the previous record holder was original Four owner Mike Wilcox more than 20 years ago. Quags' last loss was 39-37 to Just a Fantasy in Week 3.

Quags needs one more win to own the record outright. He faces -- yeah -- Miazga's Eggers in Week 14.

Quags (10-3) routed Serkus behind five field goals from PK Fairbairn HOU for a POW honor with 26 Finks points. Quags picked up Fairbairn in a rare trade with the Independents. When Quags needed a PK that week due to byes, Dah Commish engineered a last minute deal with Quags by getting rid of his backup kicker. In Week 11, Quags released his No. 3 kicker, Bullock CIN.

Now Fairbairn has scored 26 Finks points in one game, six more points than former Quags WR Gordon NE has scored in four games with the Independents.

Quags' big win over Serkus nearly toppled the Serkus' season-high scoring total of 87 points in Week 11. But Quags has dominated against Serkus this season. Quags dropped 79 points against Serkus in Week 7.

Serkus has set its own futility record this season, already giving up 740 points on the season with two weeks remaining. Serkus has beaten the previous Finks record for points allowed in a season, held by former owner David Martin's Stump Jumpers (711) from 2000.

Serkus (3-9-1) has given up more than 60 points to one opponent, more than 70 points to three opponents and now the 85 points to Quags.

BOXSCORE

Quags (85)
Mahomes KC 21
Edwards BAL 3
Lindsay DEN 19
Brown PIT 13
Cooper DAL 3
Fairbairn HOU 26

Serkus (35)
Goff LAR 6
E. Elliott DAL 9
Barkley NYG 5
J. Jones ATL zero
Hilton IND 3
J. Elliott PHI 12

Jays' pursuit of 13

It has been a record-breaking season for Boom Town Blue Jays owner Anthony Quagliano, who has previously won a franchise-best eight games in 2016.

Anthony, whose team name refers to his alma mater at Creighton University, is on track to topple the Finks League record of 12 wins in a season shared by nine teams. An unprecedented three teams won 12 games last season. All three finished in the money: Champion Serkus, runner-up Quags (owned by Anthony's father, Dick) and third-place Eggers.

The Jays (11-2) have won seven consecutive matches after beating the Lewis Division-leading Distillers 23-22 in Week 13. The Jays have remaining games against the Independents (6-7) in Week 14 and a rematch against Dad's Hurricanes (10-3) in Week 15. The Jays' last loss was 73-58 to Quags in Week 6.

Daddy Quags is one of two Finks owners to ever win 12 games in a season, along with former owner Chris Traczek. Quags' first 12-win season came in 2007 when he went on to win Finger Bowl 14.

Anthony is in his fourth season in the Finks League. His previous seasons did not foreshadow this season's success. He was 7-8 in 2015, 8-7 in 2016 and 4-11 in 2017.

The Jays are rockin' and rollin' but have yet to clinch the Urlacher Division title. That might come down to the Week 15 family duel against Dad to end the Finks League regular season.

POW watch: RB Gurley LAR was the Jays' top player in Week 13 with 17 Finks points. Gurley is favored to earn Player of the Week honors for the first time, which may seem odd coming from an NFL MVP candidate. After Week 13, Gurley leads the NFL in rushing yards (1,175) and scoring (120 points).

Week 12: Deserved clincher for Distillers

Distillers owner Dan Cassidy clinched a playoff berth while recovering at Silver Cross Hospital from a heart attack Nov. 17.

Cassidy's lineup carried over from Week 11, but it was enough to beat the LAX Planespotters in Week 12 for the Lewis Division-leading Distillers.

"I don't like losing, but I'm glad to give you this get well gift," Spotters owner D.J. Wanberg wrote to Cassidy.

Here's the Spotters vs. Distillers boxscore:

Spotters (21)
Rodgers GB 3
Coleman ATL 6
Yeldon JAX zero
Green CIN DNP
Davis TEN 6
Crosby GB 6

Distillers (43)
Brees NO 12
Mack IND 3
Carson SEA 6
Thomas NO zero
Thielen MIN 11
Myers NYJ 11

More Lewis Division: Second place Just a Fantasy could likely clinch a playoff berth in Week 13. Fantasy holds a three-game lead over the Eggers with three to play, but does not hold the head-to-head advantage. The Eggers beat Fantasy 60-50 in Week 11 to split the season series between the rivals.

All in the family: Papa Dick Quagliano can buy a round for son Anthony Quagliano someday. Anthony's Jays beat the Brawlers 46-43 in Week 12 to clinch a playoff berth for his own Jays and dad's Hurricane Quags. Anthony reports that the Brawlers nearly tied the match on Monday Night Football, but Brawlers WR D. Hopkins HOU was held to 74 yards receiving.

Quags avoided the tiebreaker with the Brawlers by already sweeping their head-to-head series.

Distillers owner back in charge

Stan Goff (left) and Dan Cassidy

Dah Commish paid a visit Friday to Distillers owner Dan Cassidy at Silver Cross Hospital in New Lenox.

Dan is now resting at Distillers HQ in Lockport after leaving the hospital Saturday. Serkus owner Stan Goff gave him a ride home and one of Dan's brothers will be spending time with him at his home.

Dan looked like he was in excellent health when I saw him and was thankful for the off duty Lockport police officer who performed CPR on him during his heart attack Nov. 17.

Dan said he hopes to avoid surgery and plans on being back in the owner's box, running the Distillers for Week 13.

It will be great to see Dan come back, even if the Distillers are having another great year this season.

Week 11: Serkus' 87 points

For the record, Distillers owner Dan Cassidy suffered his heart attack one day before his opponent, Serkus owner Stan Goff, scored 87 Finks points against the Distillers. Not afterward.

Cassidy was unconscious at the time, but Serkus' performance was likely a franchise record for Goff, who is the longest tenured Finks League owner besides Dah Commish.

No doubt, Goff competed against Cassidy with a heavy "heart." The two have known each other for decades since they both worked together during the Naperville Sun's glory days.

Eggers owner Mike Miazga wondered if Serkus' total was a record, but our Finks Record Book already has the listing for Hall of Famer Matt Simo's 90 Finks points with the Chicago Blitz in Week 11 of 1995, our second season. Dah Commish does not have week-to-week scores through all 25 seasons to compare where Goff's 87 points would rank. I used to keep week-to-week scores through the first 10 seasons of the league, but stopped keeping track shortly afterward. I kept those scores for a while, but never referred back to them and I decided to keep everything I needed on the Finks League website.

Serkus' 87 likely ranks among the second or third best scoring totals in Finks history. I can't recall too many other weeks in the 80s.

The 87 comes at an inopportune time when the opposing Distillers lacked their owner. It's also a rare highlight to a disappointing 2-8-1 season for the defending champions.

Here's the boxscore:

Distillers (54)
QB Brees NO  21
RB Mack IND 6
RB Carson SEA 6
WR Thomas NO 9
WR Thielen MIN zero
PK Butker KC 9

Serkus (87)
QB Goff LAR 27 (unrelated to Stan)
RB E. Elliott DAL 14
RB Barkley NYG 23
WR Diggs MIN 11
WR J. Jones ATL 11
PK J. Elliott PHI  1

Serkus needed at least one field goal from his former Lyons Township PK to at least tie Simo's record.

QB DUEL: Week 11 Co-players of the Week, Quags QB Mahomes KC and Goff, played against each other Monday night and scored a Finks-best 27 points each for the week. That has likely never happened before. The Rams won 54-51 in the highest scoring MNF game in history.

Mahomes had six TD passes for nearly 500 yards. Goff had a rushing TD and over 400 passing yards.

Wanberg: "I've added it up twice."

And it's still a tie, for Spotters owner D.J. Wanberg.

Wanberg picked up his second tie of the season with a 35-35 draw to the Eggers in Week 5. The Spotters (2-1-2) actually equaled his 2012 two-tie season with the Khans (6-7-2).

Wanberg could become the first Finks League owner to have three or more ties in a season with 10 weeks remaining. In Finks history, nine teams have tied twice in a season as the league enters its 25th year.

The headline is taken from a Wanberg email to the Eggers' Miazga, explaining that no matter how many times he works the number, it's still 35 for both teams.

The Eggers-Spotters tie featured some remarkable moments.

Of course, Wanberg could have avoided the tie if his PK Crosby GB made any of the four field goals that he missed in a heartbreaking Packers loss. Crosby finished with five Finks points.

QB Rodgers GB scored 19 Finks points to keep the Spotters in the game.

The Eggers, who are still looking for their first win, avoided another loss with a rare TD pass from WR Beckham Jr. NYG, who finished with 14 Finks points.

The Spotters' previous tie game came in Week 1, 36-36, against Serkus Act.

The last team to have two ties in a season was Traczek's Barrels (6-7-2 in 2014).